SWEET SABOTAGE (Happy Birthday To Me!!!)
Good morning! Well, it's again the time of the year for me. A few days ago, I turned another year closer to death. Haha. It's my birthday.
I haven't been feeling so well inside for several weeks now and that worsened the birthday blues I get every year. Birthday blues sucks. Have you ever experienced imagining being happy on your birthday then when the day comes you just feel very grumpy? Like you just want to be left alone in peace for the entire day?
Thank goodness I have art where I could release a bit of the thoughts cramped inside my head. I still haven't gotten my energy back to drawing, so this art I drew looks worse than my previous ones.
SWEET SABOTAGE
Thinking of a title for this piece was kind of difficult and I'm not sure if it fits the meaning behind the art. But are you ready for some emo story? Haha.
Once upon a time, there was a girl who believed in friendship. She was pure, always making sure no one gets left behind. Lending a hand in every way she can. She tried to be what they say she should be. In return, she was appreciated and accepted. Little did she know, the kindness she's giving was what is killing her. The total opposite of the saying, "Kill them with kindness."
It took long before she realized that her kindness became the gateway to expose her vulnerabilities and for people to take advantage on it. She thought she mattered but she was made fun of. It hurt her so bad, and for the second time, it made her question all of her relationships. No longer understanding what's going on or what's to happen next. All she knows right now is that she no longer wants to be kind anymore.
Tadah! Ah, this makes me want to write some fan fiction again. Haha. But of course, this is a post about my drawing so let me explain why I drew a hand in a cake. No, that is not a reference from the hand on the Addams' Family show. The hand represents myself and the cake represents my kindness. The fork for feeding, of course.
So basically, I am feeding people with kindness not realizing that it's what's consuming me as well. That's why I drop the fork and stop feeding them. And that's how I came up with the title "Sweet Sabotage." So much angst for a birthday post, right? Let me balance that with a few "Hahaha!"
People knew me as a very kind person who rarely complains. I don't want to be that person anymore. I am summoning my devil. It's fun to see who stays. :)
DRAWING PROCESS
Medium: Digital (Wacom Intuos Comic)
Program: Clip Studio Paint Debut
Time: Approximately 2.5 Hours
Gif made on Photoshop CS6
Hi, I'm Straykat! :)
Hive PH badge by bearone. :) |
Thank you. You're right. Being someone you are not feels really heavy. If things get fixed and healed, I would be clear with my boundaries.
That's fine, I wish you well in all you do and I hope things gets fixed soon
Thank you :)
You welcome
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Happy Birthday! May you continue to be blessed all throughout your life! Keep on living!
We actually have the same personality hahaha, the kind person. It's also fun to bring out the devil sometimes but, it didn't feel right hahaha. So I just remained to be a kind person but with limits so people won't take advantage
Hope you enjoyed your day!
Thank you! Lol I can't believe I actually wrote "I am summoning my devil". I felt scared 😂
Maybe I should just set boundaries instead, just like you.