Manchurian Candidate [My Favorite LOLitician] Do you even Ventilate Bro?

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(Edited)

The coronavirus pandemic was reaching fearful heights. Panic spread throughout the world, all the major countries were worried of not being equipped with enough resources in terms of medical supplies and health-care stuff. The Orange Man of apparently one of the largest superpowers, The united Rig of Oileria, peed his pants a little while munching on his hamburger when his foreign minister informed him how short of ventilators the state hospitals were. But he is not unknown for his eccentricities.

A press briefing was due for later that day. The orange man walked into the room, beaming with confidence and announced, The United Rig of Oileria has an abundance of High Flow Ventilators in all its state hospitals. He went a step further and promised the country will reach out to the third world countries to check whether they needed supplies. His Foreign Minister and Health Minister gulped a big swallow as drops sweat trickled down their forehead.

As promised, the ministry of foreign affairs started making calls to a few third world countries. It was just an unnecessary formality created by the eccentricity of the Orange Man. They just wanted to get done with the phone calls and never respond back. That was the plan at least.


Across the world, in The Land of Practical Jokes...


Cring cring, Cring cring....

The curly wired telephone rang in the Health Minister's office, interrupting his nap at 11 a.m. He just had 3 large Shingaras, a few chocolate pastries and a cup of tea with heaped teaspoons of condensed milk. The sleep was sound, to say the least!

He picked up the phone.

"Hello...?" he said, with all the annoyance in the world.

"Hello, is this the Health Minister of the Land of Practical Jokes?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"The health minister of the United Rig of Oileria would like to speak to you."

"Yes, yes sure!" All the annoyance was gone, virtual oil was ready to drip with his words now.


The conversation began with exchange of fake pleasantries and quickly moved to business. The United Rig of Oileria promised to support the Land of Practical Jokes with ventilators and other supplies whenever they need, as was promised to the 100 other countries before. The minister was just about to hang up after offering his help when the health minister of the Land of Practical Jokes responded with something that he was not expecting.

"Oh thank you sir, but we don't need ventilators. We have ventilators in practically every room in every city, village hospitals."

After he asserted the fact that the Land of Practical Jokes is well equipped with ventilators, the Foreign Minister of Oileria was quite embarrassed at the lack of their own resources and then he did what he thought he'd never have to do. He asked the Land of Practical Jokes to help them out by selling them some ventilators.

"Ah sure, sure sir! Whenever you need them we can supply!"

"Perfect, we'll arrange to send you some samples of our requirements in a week."

"Okay sir!" He had no idea what samples the Oileria Minister was talking about, and he didn't care. They probably wanna show how many holes they want to have in the ventilators or something! He was too busy gloating with sealing the deal of his life!


In the major hospitals of the Land of Practical Jokes, the doctors were visibly confused as news broke that their country will be supplying ventilators to Oileria. If they already have so many ventilators, how come all the major hospitals have hardly one ventilator? Where did all these ventilators come from to begin with? Where did the money to buy so many ventilators come from....? So many questions....

Nobody realized they were not talking about the same ventilator!


The confusion resolved when the samples from the United Rig of Oileria arrived.

The health minister was sweating profusely despite the air conditioner being set at 17 degrees. Although he boasted a ventilator in every room, his room didn't have a ventilator. Air conditioned rooms don't need them.

buildingfan.jpg

Source

The prime minister was furious. "What do you mean you told them we are going to supply ventilators? And now we don't have what they want...? Do you realize how embarrassing this is?"

"...errr I mean, those rectangular opening with a lot of tiny holes, aren't those called ventilators?" We could make tons of them overnight. I don't understand what they sent us. These look like some sort of machine."

Everyone had their heads in their hands! You couldn't blame the poor guy either, he was not a doctor after all. Neither did he remotely have any association to the field of medical sciences. He was a graduate of English Language and Literature.

How someone from English Major becomes a health minister and makes decisions on behalf of doctors you may ask! Well the good sir/madam, I have a question for you. Why do you think the country is called the "Land of Practical Jokes?"


I would like for @raymondspeaks and @trumpman to further ponder on this question and tell us something funny about a politician of their choice!


This post is an entry to the 1st week of the Third Edition of the BDCommunity Writing contest!

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7 comments
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This is solid! Never send ventilators to Bangladesh!! LOL!

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Hahaha more like don’t buy ventilators from here 😁

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In Pakistan they swaped used ventilators in private hospitals with new imported ventilators(destined for govt. hospitals).

I guess we all live in land of practical jokes.

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Ohhh... lolzzz.
It's same here too. Politicians having no idea about the ministries they are running and saying stupid stupid stuf thah is far far away from reality.

It's ironic...

Thanks God, the Covid situation in Pakistan is miraculously under control.
How about your land of practical jokes???

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"Under control" is a relative term I'd say lol! People here are acting like the coronavirus never existed and govt too is allowing people to believe it's all cool and stuff. Reality is quite different in my opinion. It is far from being under control for us.

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Yeah... Relative indeed. Here we are having far less spread as compared to rest of the world. Alhamdullilah

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