Hi fellow Edders,

The other day we lost Bob, the molly fish. RIP Bob! Lol

Cycle of Life

Everything is a learning opportunity for kids if you can get the right circumstances. Tough as it may be, these are all things that kids need to be exposed to we think, so we took it head on.

With getting the fish we got for our son a few months ago, we knew it would only be time before we had to deal with the inevitable: death. Our son is a trooper as we say in these areas, he hasn’t thankfully had to deal with much of it. We were honestly surprised that the fish lasted as long as he did! I knew from the get-go that I would end up being the one who takes care of it. I was right, when the novelty wore off he got bored of the poor fish lol. Thankfully they were only 2$ each.

Some parents take the approach to say that the fish went off to another fish tank somewhere or that the fish is now living with their other family or something when the fish dies. We didn’t want to lie to him in that regard so we didn’t make up any stories. Our son and I were cleaning the fish tanks and we unfortunately didn’t get a chance to sooner so it was a bit dirty. Not awful but dirtier than it’s ever been. We cleaned the other tank since we have two (them living in their own tank each didn’t last long lol) and when we moved the fish from the dirty tank to the new one, I knew something was up. Bob was laying on the bottom of the tank but would get a kick back to life every so often and run around, eat food but would slow down and then lay down. The time was coming. We went out for a walk to get some exercise when Siena texted me that she had was pretty sure that Bob was toast. I asked if he was just hanging out and eventually moving and she said nope, not at all and sent me the below picture lol. Upside down, no fins flapping on the bottom. Poor Bob! I think he had a better life than if he was stuck at the pet store but maybe I’m trying to hope that it wasn’t terrible for the little guy.

When we got in the house after our walk I wasn’t going to just let him think the fish was still alive, he did really like the fish. He would occasionally sit there on a chair and talk to them and show them LEGO and stuff, so he did like them both. When we got in I said that we had some bad news, unfortunately Bob had died. He immediately went and got the chair and looked in the tank and agreed. I told him that we had to get him out of the tank since it wasn’t nice to leave him there when he was dead so he helped me fish (pun intended lol) him out of the tank. We brought him over to the toilet and flushed him down the drain. He held it together surprisingly well, a little too well, up until the point where we flushed him down and he knew it was serious. Poor kid was crying for about 20 minutes before he calmed down and I was able to tell him that it was how life works. You are born, live and then die one day. This was Bob’s day to die and what happens is that we flushed him down the toilet because it would make its way out into the river (didn’t tell him about the filtration plant and all that lol) and that Bob would now be food for a bigger fish to eat, which is what happens with all animals. He mulled it over and was eventually satisfied with this response because when Bob gave his life, it was for another fish to eat him and grow which would then eventually feed a human.

I was glad that we encountered this scenario when we did because I think we are going to be spending a lot more time this summer doing things like fishing and possibly some small hunting. I want him to understand that when we catch something and kill it, yes it is sad but it is how life works and that we will be thankful to the animal or fish for giving its life for us to have food and say a thank you to it. It’s not exactly the same but it is his first real experience with death of something that he has spent time with and knows what it is. He’s seen a dead fish or two but not something he actually liked.

You’ll be missed Bob! He had lots of energy!

How have other parents in the community handled death? Did you do it in a manner like we did or did you do something different? I would like to hear different perspectives, as with anything with our little ones!

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