Educating My Kiddos' Grandparents About My Kiddos
I believe that it is false to assume our children are the only benefactors of our home education philosophy. Time and time again I hear my wife say something like "I feel like I am really starting to understand this topic" or "I have never heard this information presented in this way." By teaching, my wife is continuing to learn. As she reads aloud to our kiddos, I glean new information and am challenged in new ways. As I am pulled in to help with challenging topics (and address life in general), I forced to re-evaluate my knowledge base and determine the best way to pass along what I know.
Learning is not restricted to a specific age range. It is a life-long pursuit and our home education philosophy is impacting two generations of our family.
What about a third generation?
My Mom and Dad came to visit us yesterday. We enjoyed a great meal - grilled chicken, grilled corn, green beans, and rice. Dad must of liked it because he commented about how good it was several times.
The fellowship together was sweet and the conversation was engaging. I feel that over the last few years, our relationship with my parents has improved greatly.
When my family and I lived overseas, it was challenging to interact well with my parents. Sons are the best at staying in communication. Physically separation can lead to emotional disconnect. When two groups of people live their lives on different sides of the world, there will be challenges and obstacles.
Renewing Relationships
Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but removing a 20 to 40 hour plane ride makes it a whole lot easier to visit grandparents.
But removing the distance does not automatically mean that "life returns to normal." And lets be honest, you might live now the street from your loved ones, but that does not guaranteed that relationships are in a good place.
Something that I am learning is that our home oriented education philosophy means that we strive for harmony and unity between "all" members of the family:
- parents and children
- sisters and brother
- grandparents and grandchildren
The Nuances of Each (Grand)Child
Little Man had everyone cracking up at the table yesterday. He is not even two years old yet, but you can already tell he is an entertainer. Mom and Dad were really enjoying the moment - the dinner and the show. That is his style, and it is easy to connect with him. Little Man was also born since our return back to the United States. He does not know of our life overseas. He does not know of the distance. All he needs is a little "warm up," and then he is revving to go.
His older sister (the next step up the ladder) is a different story. She does not warm up to my Mom and Dad easily. Little Red has a fire in the pit of her gut, but she mostly reserves that passion for interacting with our immediate core family. Others rarely get the privilege of seeing her passion (it does not matter who you are). For now, it is who she is, but not a guarantee of who she will be.
As much as my wife and I work with Little Red to help her open up to others, we have to guide my parents as well. When a grandchild does not speak to you and only offers limited physical affection, Grandma and Grandpa's heart start to hurt a bit.
Home Edders = Family Edders
Our desire to home educate centers around the importance of family. My wife and I choose to educate our children at home because we feel we are the best prepared to help them learn about life.
We desire to grow and develop strong relationships with our parents (and assist them in knowing their grandkids better) because family is important. Being family comes with it challenges. We all bring a unique individual perspective to the table that has been shaped by equally unique joys, struggles, strengths and weaknesses.
Our desire to be a stronger family means that we must be a "learning family." We must deeply learn about each other. We must engage in genuine, authentic conversation. We must show grace to each other when we exhibit weakness and celebrate each other in our personal strengths.
Although I spend most of my time with my kiddos investing in their lives, I cannot forget that I am responsible for helping teach my Mom and Dad to learn how to interact with my kiddos - especially in light of the years we spent physically apart.
I am a bridge - one that connects two generations. That means that as a home edder I reach to both sides so that they can know and love each other as much as I do.
I Want To Hear From You
Let's continue the conversation in the comments.
- Have you every thought about "teaching" your parents?
- Is home education only restricted to family or can it extend to anyone who is invited into your home?
- What opportunities do you have to educate outside of your home?
Thanks for stoping by!
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Little Red might surprise you down the line. My middle child was the shyest and most introverted little kid ever. She was the kid that would be sitting on my lap for the entirety of playgroup gatherings and only go off to play in the last 10 miunutes until she got to know people, then she would only be stuck to me for for first 10-15 minutes before running off to play. Now as a teenager she's the most extraverted of the bunch and is the one that's always off on sleepovers and out with friends and things XD
And at least you're helping everyone along :) I've been gently trying to dissuade one of my relatives from trying to guilt their kids into giving hugs and stuff when they don't want to. One time when we were visiting they told their kid to give us a hug and a kiss goodbye and the kid didn't want to so the parent started doing the "aww but they'll be sad" kinda thing so we quickly jumped in and said it was fine and could I have a fist bump instead, and theyt were happy with that. Sometimes I get a hug and sometimes I'll be lucky to get a wave but I mind much less than the relative apparently does XD
The example about attachment theory made be chuckle a bit. Our parents learn just like everyone else, but it sometimes sounds funny when they repeat things we have taught them (at least to me).
To your point, there are many people who we allow to speak into our children's lives (decent, but imperfect people). We feel confident that they desire good things for our kiddos because we invited them into our home and we know their character. We are all works in progress, but since we live life together in a meaningful way, we are able to see the trajectory of where they are heading.
I agree that Little Red may make a change in the near future. She has matured a lot in the last year or so. Still very reserved, but no longer attached to my or my wife's leg.
And although my parents have struggled with her being very shy around them, they have never forced her to hug them. They want her affliction to be voluntary, but it is still hard on them. I do appreciate their overall desire to let her grow and mature at her own pace.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing about your experiences. Always appreciated!
!ENGAGE 25
ENGAGEtokens.My eldest always demanded a lot of my attention and affection. When she went to highschool for a bit I had to walk her in. Now she barely wants to know me! 🤣 She's got a boyfriend for that, now, and he's obviously a better option.
I've never really thought about teaching them as such. They may have picked things up from us, though. 😆
I've always told my girls it's good to have different teachers, because each one can bring you something new or a new viewpoint. We don't have a lot of visitors to the house, though, because we're still across the other side of the world from the family and friends we knew.
There is a lot of opportunity in Adelaide for education outside. We've been fortunate that a lot is also free or low cost. Sometimes we have to travel quite a way for it. That comes with having a low population over a large area, I guess.
I agree that it is important to have let people with different viewpoints interact with our kiddos. I have found that these opportunities help strengthen our family. Each unique perspective can help round out our children's worldview. I have even had great conversations with our kiddos after someone talked about something that is not apart of our family's everyday culture.
I can relate to be far away from family. Best wishes as you find new friends and "family" where you live now.
It is great that there is a lot of free/low cost learning opportunities. Be safe in your travels and take every moment to do life well as a family.
As always, thanks for stopping by. Much appreciated.
!ENGAGE 25
ENGAGEtokens.