Unrealistic Expectations, Action and Mindset that bring pain

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While there is a saying Life is a Roller Coaster and yes to an extent quite true, because we do not really know what the next moment will bring into us. What the next moment will bring will always be a mystery but how to deal with that next moment is definitely in our own control. So commonly we keep hearing this word Karma, and nowadays it has become a fashion to blame everything on Karma.
If we are in trouble, we say it's all my Karma coming back to me, but we never say it is my own doing that is messing up things for me and just because I am not in control of my own emotions, behavior, life, the shape up of my life is not happening the way I desire.

While the Karma is always at a play which is undeniable but the other major part is how we manage the Karma. We can make it a painful experience or a learning and soothing experience. How graciously we approach is the key to a progressing life. There are some very beautiful lines saying "Karma is like the Music and the strings are in our hands and the whole experience depends on how we manage these strings"

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There are many behaviors that we portray by our-self and then we name it as Karma. We sometimes expect too much or too little and then when we face the consequences of not maintaining the balance we need something to put the blame on.

  • The victim mode that many people live with is the root problem that keeps one entangled in the karma cycle. Internal fear cripples us and we are not able to see clearly what the reality holds in for us. We keep thinking that everything wrong is happening to me and we are attracting similar energies around us in bargain all the time. The same pattern of failure, unhappiness keeps repeating because that is what we keep attracting in the victim mode and then we put the blame on Karma. There are destiny points in life but everything single experience of life is not destined so while the Karma is working but there is a lot of free will also to exercise and this free will is a choice we make which balances the life the way we desire.

  • A bad health will be a result of a unhealthy lifestyle which is a choice that we have voluntarily made but when we are striked with a major ailment we say it is the Karma. Well exactly it is the karma of making wrong choices but then those choices are also made consciously by us so then why blame the karma, it is just the cause and effect consequences that one needs to go through. And this happens in every walk of life.

  • Expectations & Attachments hurt us more and then we name this as Karma. All the time we set expectations, whether it is from people, relationships, situations there is expectation of a certain outcome and when this does not exactly go the way we desire we say life is not fair with me. When something does not happen the way we want it is our own internal problem to deal with, but we make it external and always want to put the blame outside of us and not taking the ownership of it at all. It is all about the expectations vs the reality vs the outcome. We can live in a fantasy land with our own expectations or we embrace the reality and accept it graciously. Cord cutting is so important to break free from these chains, whether it is with people, close family members, situations. The moment the attachment builds up, the expectations also start creeping up and then the failure of these expectations create all the pain that one experiences.


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  • Living in the now moment, it is so important to make every moment a beautiful one rather than a frowning one. The so called Karma can be dealt in many ways, it is more about the perception that we hold towards the approach we want to take. If one can smile and see the positive side even the toughest Karma will ease out gracefully and the reverse if one only knows to frown and handle life the simplest of karma will become burden full. People come together in lifetimes for specific reasons, for lessons, for one's own personal growth, accepting each individual as they are or accepting every situation with an attempt to find solutions will make life much more simpler. Challenges will always be there, if we keep dwelling into it we will never have solutions, but if we work towards them with an open mind we will conquer them easily. There is no problem that does not have a solution, but just sitting over it will not help and resolve. A mindful action will bring the expected result.

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7 comments
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Cierto las situaciones la generamos nosotros, consiente o inconscientemente, además es parte de un aprendizaje para la vida, yo practico todo los días el agradecimiento, genero una lista todos los días de todo lo bueno que me ha sucedido en el día, con el fin que mi mente se enfoque en cosas positivas.

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A very interesting post. I often say that we can't control what happens in life but we can control how we react to it. I try to follow the the middle path. The roller coaster of life is quite tiring and not being able to control one's emotions shows mental weakness in my opinion which allows others to easily control us. The past is done. We can only learn from it and move on. The future is unknown and often beyond our control. All we have is this moment.. here and now :) So best to try to enjoy the moment!

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The past should be only taken forward as a learning and nothing else, if we keep clinging on to it we can never progress. Thank you for your wonderful views. Life is to explore every moment and not get stuck onto it with stuff that does not really matter

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There is a way to differentiate the things that happen to us because we had to go through them, and the things that happen to us because we did nothing to avoid them, and that is by asking ourselves the question: was it necessary for me to go through this? If so, we can blame karma, but if it wasn't necessary, if we could do something to prevent it and we didn't, it's just our own fault.

In the end, the very concept of karma is supposed to aim for us to be more responsible for what happens to us, not less.

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The free will is always at play simultaneously so sometimes what we blame as karma is our own choice. Karma is for progression and if we are not then definitely something is wrong. Thank you for your insights @vieira

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