There’s a phrase I use pretty regularly, and I can’t remember where I first heard it, but it’s pretty profound: It’s not all ponies and rainbows.

...and it’s not. That’s the reality.

At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God’s hand until we learn to hear Him. [...] When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light. -Oswald Chambers

Attending church camp as a kid, I remember multiple speakers noting that as Christians we experience times “on the mountaintop,” as well as “in the valley,” but most of the time we exist on a plateau. The mundane and the regular.

I spent a lot of years chasing a high. I wanted to create a constant and perpetual mountaintop experience. I would wake up in the morning, get high, and then find myself spending the rest of the day trying to recreate the feeling I had when I first awoke, but it just lessened and lessened over time until I really had a hard time even achieving that high because my tolerance was so great. It was impossible to sustain that kind of living.

On the converse, as a result of my chasing an impossible high, what I was left with were a lot of lows. A huge valley with a lot of lows in the form of anger, grief, mood swings, anxiety attacks, bouts with paranoia, self-loathing, guilt...the list goes on. I felt inadequate in essentially every possible way. It was as if absolutely nothing was ever enough.

However, thanks to a huge and faithful God, I was delivered out of those traps and brought into a new place. It didn’t happen overnight, but I’m really thankful for the perspective that I now have on those years of my life. The struggle isn’t over, but coping with those things is much easier than it used to be.

I’ll always be an addict, even if I’ve been sober for years. That’s the reality. However, the things I’ve learned in those times can hopefully help me to reach other people who have been in similar circumstances and to show others that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel and His name is Jesus.

Today’s verse from Matthew chapter 10 speaks to me in regard to those dark years of my life. Everything we go though in our human experience serves to mold us into the person God will ultimately use to make the world a better place. Those dark spaces can be a point where we learn so much about not only ourselves, but also about God, if we are willing to listen to what is being said to us in those moments.

What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.

Matthew 10:27

We are specifically called to learn and to listen in the dark times. We should strive to fight our worldly urges with true spiritual warfare to avoid being pulled into its traps. It’s definitely easier said than done, but with applied discipline in the darkness through our obedience, diligent prayer, and time in God’s word—we are destined to overcome in His name.

........................

I am Jessamyn Orchard (@jessamynorchard), and I am a former youth pastor, worship minister, and church lay leader, who graduated from a Christian college. Most recently, however, I’m an addict in recovery who rededicated my life to Jesus about 6 months ago. I was raised in church, and saved at age 12, but I did a lot of straying over the past 10+ years, falling into pits of sin through addictions and self-pity. I’m no authority, just a believer in a big God and called to spread His word through as many conduits as present themselves to me. Fumbling Toward Jesus is a multi-media ministry campaign and includes a written blog of daily devotions on Steemit and an accompanying monthly podcast on Anchor.fm, and it represents years of study—both over the years and lately, and now combined with a whole load of human experience. I’m just a super nerdy sinner saved by a really awesome grace.

........................

Do you need a Bible?

Download YouVersion Bible for iOS and Android: Benefits include multiple popular and hard-to-find translations, tons of Bible Study programs and Reading Plans by modern and historic scholars, built-in social media platform, and it’s FREE!

Download eSword Study Bible for PC: Benefits include extensive translations, commentaries, scholarly materials, customizable format, and more!

............

A Sinful Woman Forgiven Series: Part I,Part II, Part III, Part IV

Prayer Request Wednesday Initiative
............

Listen to an inspired playlist on Spotify for some of my fave Christian music tunes. New tunes added weekly.

............

Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Thank you for reading Fumbling Toward Jesus on Steemit! Your upvotes and follow are graciously received and appreciated.
............
Follow Fumbling Toward Jesus on Steemit for daily devotionals, encouragement, prayer requests, and MORE!