All The Steemies Are Mine

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My phone pinged and reflexively I pulled it up and out of my deep lambs pocket and had a look.

Hot flaming shits?!

I gasped aloud, drawing no small number of disapproving glances, being, as I was, on the train.

It was a notification, just a simple one, one of those Gina bot things. The words were the things that had led me to gasp out loud.

meesterboom" was mentioned by @steemtorch in a post !

Exclaimed the notification proudly, almost as if steemtorch were a lady and she was proclaiming long and loud of the night of the long beef we had spent together.

I had heard of this steemtorch malarkey, heard of it but had never thought that anyone would be daft enough to throw it my way. Didn't they know that I had been working up to a heist of this magnitude for almost my entire life?

Were they unaware that in another life I was known as Raffles, the Gentleman Thief?

More fool them then.

This money was mine.

I would make off with it and concoct some outlandish excuse as to why I could not pass it on.

But what could my excuse be?

A wise old man once said to me that to defeat the game, one must first know how the game is played.

Deep words. Words it had taken me a lifetime to master. I knew that my first step should be to find out how this damned game worked. Only then could I set my phaser to stun as they say in the dark corners of some internet forums.

I clicked the link in the notification and quickly scanned the post that it led to.


Blah blah, blah blah...

@ryivhnn passed the torch on to @meesterboom
The torch contains 1030.0 STEEM

blah blah blah, pass it on blah blah blah...


There was a link in that post to another post with instructions.

I followed the trail and as I read the so-called rules to the game, a smile started to form on my face which spread and spread until my whole body was one big gaping mess of wet tongue and laughing teeth.

Oh, this was good. This was very good.

Almost straight away, I knew how to win.

I knew how to keep all those delicious steemies to myself and face no consequences.

Finally, the life I had always sought was within reach.

I smirked at the thought of being able to live like a King, maidens clad in cheap nylon and taffeta with pink Nikki Minaj wigs baking my gammon in their salt crust ovens.

I chuckled and it echoed sweetly through the now deserted train carriage.

I would keep all the steems by claiming that I couldn't read.

Simple.

If I can't read it, then how am I to know what it says?

Once again, I congratulated myself on my evil genius.

I transferred the Steems to my favourite villainous exchange and laughed aloud as I put my phone away in my pocket.

There was no point in keeping it out.

After all... I can't read.



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53 comments
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Haha! They will burn you at the torch ye ole Scotsman if you don't pass the torch! Oh, you can't read?

Just a !tip

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If only I could read this!! I am sure there is a message of great importance!!!

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I heard that you could read the word beer from a mile away!

🤣

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Something too do with the great wastes North of the divide and a chicken perhaps... I feel like I am tickling the edges of something big!

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That's what she said.

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She did! I read that somewhere! ;0)

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So, you're the reason that text to speech service was around so long ... for the folks who can't read!!!

I understand now.

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See, it makes perfect sense! We, can't read us maniacs!!

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To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.

Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

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I gasped aloud, drawing no small number of disapproving glances, being, as I was, on the train.

That''s what you get for sitting in the 'A' coach. I had a bloke whinge at me once cuz my headphone settings were too loud.

Another time the carriage was full and a bloke sitting had a go at another standing next to him. 'get your arse outta my face', I could not withhold a chortle.

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Haha, our trains are similar. I have had many an encounter on them! The headphones thing is daft, at least you were wearing them, I have day next to young scamps playing music tinnily on their phone for the entire journey!

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I'm not sure where the smelly arsed bloke was supposed to shift his posterior to... it's not like there's many options hehe.., I haven't done the train in a few years... don't miss that tinny music.

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That is me back on the train gang. At least today it wasn't for work like tomorrow will be. Sigh

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My arse your face, seemed like a good match 😁

!ENGAGE 25

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你好鸭,meesterboom!

@eii给您叫了一份外卖!

@hertz300 小Q 迎着大雪 骑着村长家后院的鹿 给您送来
新年快乐!

吃饱了吗?跟我猜拳吧! 石头,剪刀,布~

如果您对我的服务满意,请不要吝啬您的点赞~
@onepagex

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Ooo, Raffles, The Gentleman Thief. I only knew Sir Stamford Raffles who founded Singapore. It might be quite a chagrin having the same name as a crook. Hahahahah. Upvoted!

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A chagrin or a sheer pleasure!!! Cheers dude!!

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Congratulations @meesterboom! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You got more than 51500 replies. Your next target is to reach 52000 replies.

You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

You can upvote this notification to help all Steem users. Learn how here!

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Hello @meesterboom sir, why are you voting minus my posts like this? Do I have any enmity with you? Minus voting is okay, but why not mention any reason? Please note the reason for this post before giving it minus.

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No enmity. You are buying votes that's all

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Hi @meeterboom sir. I understand your point. But if you think I buy votes, it's actually a misconception. It's true that I used to vote before. From an account called @tommyhansen. But at the present time he votes me free. And if you disapprove of me because of this, you are doing me a disservice, because I have never applied for a vote or anything from him. So I want you to look good and give you a minus. This is my request to you.

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Screenshot_20200121-103132_Chrome.jpg

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Yes sir I agree with you. I asked her to promote me a post. As if promoting one of my posts. However, he is now promoting the rest of my posts. However, sir I am not requesting him to promote any of my posts right now. But if he is promoting my post now, sir, please do not vote me a minus. Sir you can do my highest test. I no longer ask him to promote any of my posts. So sir, you must consider my statement before voting minus. This is my request to you.

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Such malevolent cleverness doth thou possess...

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It I could read this I would surely be pleased!

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Well I for one am not buying this ‘can’t read’ business. Surely the most plausible excuse is ‘I’m Scottish’? Boom!! 😬😬

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(Edited)

Ha!! Boom!! Now, if I could read I would surely say that this would be the best solution!!! :0D lol

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Ah genius. Another trick up your sleeve. The Boom can write, but not read.

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It's a cruel twist of fate I must admit! :0)

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I knew you'd make something kickarse out of this XD

Sorry for not giving you a heads up :S

Now if only you could read my apology! XD

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I can definitely make out some squiggles. And colours. Oh, why was I cursed with this word blindness!!!

;0D

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