" Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. "
– Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Ever loved someone so much you needed the government to get involved in your love affair? Ever wanted to commit to someone so badly you needed the family law to force its way into your partnership? Yeah, me neither. Yet for millions of people who get married on a daily basis, the opposite stands true. They hold the fucked up narrative that without the government having a nose in their love business, their love just ain’t that legit.
Like that label game wasn’t harmful enough, we take it to the next level and beg the government to have our love become fully official. Never mind that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 90% end in misery. The hopeless statisticians that we are want to flip the odds around, every time around. Failing to realize that behaving like you’re an exception to the rule most often than not makes you end up confirming the rule. Would you still get on that boat if you knew right from the get go its risk of sinking would be 90% high?
Marriages are like death traps - the potential ‘reward’ ain’t worth your life. Now before you jump on the offended bus, hear me out for a sec.
Fact numero uno : The majority of marriages end in divorce.
Fact numero dos: The majority of marriages bring children into their union.
Do the math for yourself and tell me how much of a lovely family portrait this makes. The reality wouldn’t be as bad as it is if humans weren’t such dumb fucks obsessed with the idea of milking as much money as legally possible from the person they once said they would love till death did them part, but that’s as good as it gets in today’s world.
Death surely didn’t do us part, but honey even though we’re no longer married I will surely fuck you in the ass till the day you die. Big egos and human selfishness will bring you down divorce town faster than the speed of light.
Come at me all you want, I can take it all night long my friend, but I have yet to meet a dude talking his friends into getting married. If anything, he probably envies the fuck out of his unmarried friends because unlike him, they don’t have the privilege of having the government + a wife up their asses. Double effin trouble.
While family lawyers are enriching themselves, you poor divorcee is in the best case scenario forced to pay custody for your ex wife/hubby for eva. See, that’s the problem with forever - it has an expiration date. Marriage ain’t what Disney movies have made it out to be. And it’s about time we stop feeding the fantasy that it brings everlasting bliss, because that ain’t the truth and it never will be.