"I Love You Too" – The Dangers Of Expected Reciprocity

“I Love You Too” Way Or The Highway

Loving with no agenda? Who are you kidding! One minute we’re in love, the next we’re going nuclear on our partner because they didn’t reciprocate the safe word (#metoo). Reciprocate or my love for you will burn down in flames. Don't you dare tell me this isn't an easy choice! (The Love enterprise isn't a democratic one...)

We don’t say it to say it because we mean it, we say it because we want you to say it back so we can hear it. (Blame our wounded narcissistic child for that one!) You don’t want to say it back? Wow… you’re at the very least a piece of trash! It is no wonder Radical honesty always gets picked last in class… Nobody wants to hear the truth. Some sweet and sour lie will do. We want what we want, not what we need. I love you so long as you love me too. Say it like you mean it (even if you don’t truly mean it).

Don’t play with my heart, but I’ll play with your mind. If you don’t want to play by the rules of mandatory reciprocity, I will make you pay the price for it. Selflessness turns into selfishness. Love has now become a cold and calculated transaction. Love can only exist so long as it doesn’t stand on its own. We are incapable of separating the love we feel within from the person to whom that feeling is directed toward. Conditional Love has entered the chat.

The second our expectations are not being met, we jump on the assumption train. The question deserves to be asked: do we say the three magic words because we genuinely want to say them, or rather because we hold a secret agenda? Hypocrisy in disguise? Now if you thought human beings were terrified of silence, the kind of silence that comes with a non reciprocated “I love you“ feels like being hit by a train going at a thousand miles an hour on the highway of mandatory reciprocity. Ouch. The pain is fucking real. In need of some CPR asap because my heart is collapsing on itself.

From an evolutionary point of view, (had to make that plug sorry) it makes sense. Rejection is akin to death. Because back in the good old days, our ancestors needed each other to survive. When the all too familiar pit in the stomach kicks in, you can thank them for it! It was their evolutionary gift to us. No but all jokes aside, this post was sponsored by Gary Chapman – author of The 5 Love Languages.
In which category does the saying I love you back falls into?