Valentine’s Day - The Day Where Mandatory Reciprocity Gets Commercialized

avatar

When you give the gift of vulnerability to someone, you're honouring them. -Dr Kirk Honda

da12a97ac1ef4d48d395fafbcb7c600d.png

When we don’t play by the rules of institutionalized bureaucracy, we play by the rules of institutionalized romantic reciprocity. Just like there is no room for error when it comes to mandatory reciprocity, you have no other choice but to play your cards right on Valentines Day. Otherwise the V card gets discarded…If you catch my drift. Mark your calendar. Play it smart. Play it safe. No bluffing allowed.

Many have a love and hate relationship with Valentine’s day. Some love to hate it ; others hate to admit they love it. Maybe it’s time we stop hating V day with a passion and use that passion to rekindle the very flame of our relationship. #ThisPostWasBroughtToYouByAdamAndEve.Com
Thank me later.

V day seems to generate some negative press namely because "everyday should be a day to celebrate Love! " (or some other variation of the same kind) To those who say so, I ask, have you ever met a couple that has been together for a long time that celebrates their love every day? Except for my three favorite couples on the AND project, my answer is sadly a no.

Maybe that’s why we hate Valentine’s day. Because it reminds us that human love is nothing like the Disney movies promised us it would be like. The lonely hearts desperately crave for their heart to be taken, while the ones who have their heart taken secretly envy the ones who have their freedom all to themselves. Bottom line is – we’re never content with what we have. Or as I like to say it – the superficial grass only looks nicer from afar.

We can barely master the rules of mandatory reciprocity, even less the ones of monogamy, don’t expect us to master the rules of the whole game of romantic Love altogether. It’s most likely to be the most complex game on the market and the supreme irony here is that very few bother checking the instructions before playing it. It’s no wonder we fail at it time and again.

To those who ask where the instructions are at, they are to be found in several places, such as the therapist office, in books on psychology (John Gottman feel free to sponsor me anyday), in attachment theory, in the healing of our past relational traumas…but the instructions can also be read in more user-friendly ways and put directly into play: empathy, nonviolent communication, kindness, active listening, only to name a few. Those are the name of the Love game. You can never go wrong by adding more of those into your partnership.



0
0
0.000
0 comments