You Are A Result Of Your Own Decisions Up To This Point

Sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it? Especially when life throws a curveball our way from time to time, and sometimes that curveball could be laced with poison and spikes. Yes, I'm sure we've all had our own fair share of ups and downs that we've had to deal with along the way. Life is harsh, and if you aren't ready to baton down the hatches it can sometimes catch you off guard. What the fuck do I even mean that I am a result of my own decisions? I can't control EVERYTHING that happens to me.

Yes, but I can choose how I react to it.

I've always said that life is at least 10% what happens to you and a good 90% (or more) of how you react to it. I like to call it a heightened sense of self control. It's not my fault if I fall into a ditch and break my leg, but afterwards it's definitely my choice in how I react to the situation I am in -- it's the same with everything in life. Take relationships for example, I was recently talking with a girl that crawled out of bad depression to find that she had annexed herself from a lot of long term relationships she had with friends, and one by one she mended those bridges. Of course she could have kept those gates closed because those people did choose to be out of her life, the choice was ultimately hers.

And this is where I'd like to talk about you receive what you give out, and there's no polarity in this. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, or what background you have -- if you're respectful to other people, they will in turn respect you back. I know, you're thinking already about that friend you were totally respectful to but all they did was shit on you from a great height; of course, there are exceptions to this rule, and sometimes the goodness that you give out is much less weaker than the anger they emanate - sometimes other people wear a heavy burden, and that's theirs to deal with.

People react to what you give out. Your decisions. You can ultimately control the flow of connections by reacting -- or not reacting if the case me be. It's up to you. Take a couple of weeks ago -- someone through an article back at me because my idea of what should be the forward motion for men wasn't quite in line with what she believed. Now I could have argued with her, spending all day back and forth, stating my claims, and her stating hers -- yet what would this achieve? In the long term, nothing, and I'd maybe even have lost my place. So I just thanked her and sent something alternative in. Why do I need to make my life complicated? The less complicated life is for me then the better.

I suffered from clinical depression for at least four years, and it can be often hard to see this sort of mindset when the world takes a big dump on you from a great height. I get it, sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. It's also easy for me to say this now because I've been through it and came through the other end, and us people that like to tell the world how they've overcame some extreme obstacles can be annoying as shit. Sometimes you don't want to hear a story about overcoming fears when you have your own bollox to overcome right now, and none of that other crap matters. Good for them. Woopdie do.

I struck a line under mine. I said tomorrow was a new day and began from there. It wasn't as easy as that of course; I had to stop excessively drinking, stop lying to other people, stop telling myself lies, and start acting on what I was saying. I had to take each day as a new day with a new goal to achieve, and eventually I built a momentum up that never stopped achieving -- of course I'm not always achieving. Sometimes my goals take years to complete, other times a few hours.

And through that I learned that I was a result of every action and choice I had made to this date. Sure, I can blame the shitty childhood I had, the excessive stays in psychiatric hospital, or the unfair way I'm treated at times; but I couldn't, and can't control any of that. The world presents itself as it is, and I must do everything in my power to make life as easy and straight forward for myself as possible.

But again, an easy life is subjective too. An easy life for one person can mean only having one to-the-death battle before dinner rather than six. For me it means not having to fight to survive, which at times it can feel like I'm doing just that, but alas, we all have our stories to tell!

But whatever awesome life you're going through right now; whatever brand of amazing you're living -- remember!

You are a result of every one of your actions up until this point :)