Push presents - Should you get a gift for giving birth?
"Push presents" or "push gifts" have become quite the growing trend amongst expecting parents. I heard people talking about it recently and had no idea what they were, and I am a mother of 5 beautiful humans. So I decided to check it out and see what all the hype is about.
So what is it?
A push present is a symbolic gesture that is given to the mother usually after the birth of a child because the woman must deal with morning sickness, swollen bodies, cramps, stretching and aches and pains and then endure labor.
A "push present" is given to the new mother signify that their spouses recognize sacrifices made and are sympathetic to their partners' journey.
Unlike gifts are given at the mothers baby shower, the "push present" is all about mum.
What if you don't push and have a c-section? Does that mean you are not entitled to the gift?
Apparently not. Push presents are for all who brought life into the world regardless of how you delivered them.
I have given birth 5 times having both vaginal and-sectional deliveries so I can vouch babies all come into the world differently. So whoever named this new "tradition" clearly hasn't thought of that through at all because sometimes there is no pushing!
I would also like to take a moment to think about the women and girls who "push" but place their children into adoption. Do they get a "push present" too? I don't think many do, although they too went through the journey of creating life.
Or what about the woman who adopted her child? Is she entitled to a "push present"? Imagine how she would feel as mothers discuss their "push present" rewards for their journey into parenthood. Was her rollercoaster of a journey to parenthood not worthy enough of a gift to symbolize her sacrifices?
I'm starting to feel like this whole thing is not very inclusive...
What types of gifts are given as a "push present"?
The ideal push present is something that she will keep for years and a symbol of love and devotion. Many opt for high-end jewelry, designer fashions, spa treatments, or even vacations.
If you are a celebrity you can expect something pretty extravagant. Kylie Jenner got a 2 seater car 1.4 million dollars black Ferrari. No, that wasn't a typo....a 2 seater car!
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But what about our partners?
In my own experience, my husband also suffered with me during each of my pregnancies. Maybe not in the exact same way as me, I understand as a woman we give up our bodies, but his life too was affected by the little human that we created and I was carrying...and right from the very start. I put him through hell and back lol.
Every midnight craving was fetched by him sometimes suburbs away. Every backache and pain was rubbed by him. When I couldn't sleep and be restless up and down he stayed awake with me. What about the sacrifices and lifestyle changes he also made? Or how when I was struck with 24-hour morning sickness with each of our boys my husband was there rubbing my back with a glass of water and when I had a hormonal outburst he was right there to wipe away my tears and comfort me and when I labored with each of my children he was also there doing everything in his power to help me and assist me as much as he could.
Although it is nice to be pampered, loved and, most importantly, appreciated by your loved one, a gift after birth should not be demanded or expected. In the end, I believe the greatest gift after the long journey of pregnancy to labor is your baby, period.
So what are your thoughts on push presents? Leave me a comment below, I would love to hear from you.
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Wow, my wife should have a ton of these😁thanks for dropping it on pypt😋
Ok... What is this pypt that you speak of?
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In my most recent post, there is a link to a discord server called The Ramble run by @shadowspub. Every Thursday, she does two shows called Pimp Your Post Thursday ( =pypt ). Good place to meet some new people, get a few more eyes on your content and just socialize in general. Ought to stop in some time😊
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Lol. ... I'm there. Complete fluke but, I found the Ramble house a few hours ago. 😁
Thank you.
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you did .. was good to meet you
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So the question is.......are you going to spoil her to make up for it on Mother's Day lol???
Gonna have to, right??😝
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Lovely article. Got to hear you present it at the #PYPT discord server. This is something that is been done in my country Nigeria most times to people who just gave birth.. It's lovely that it's been done abroad also
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I can't believe we have not crossed paths on the blockchain until yesterday's #pypt!
After the show, I was thinking about you questioning the push present. You are damn right you deserve it as women, putting up with us and enduring more pain than we could imagine.
I feel you should not feel entitled to a push present. BUT, if your partner is kind enough to pour effort and resources into an extra reward, you have a special partner and deserve it.
You are just putting on a brave face after the 9-month trial which makes you extra kickass.
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I got a push present for my second kid.
I think I called it a baby mama present.
It was a ring and I loved it and appreciated it and sure did feel like I deserved it at the time. Lol. How we grow.
Awe, that's lovely <3 <3 <3
I wonder if I shouldn't have had a zillion push presents cause I had to push hard to get my son out 😎
Hahahaha, I feel you!!
I’ve heard people get them too! I just got presents in terms of foood glorious food that I didn’t get to eat during pregnancy hahaaha
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Now that is my type of present!! FOOOOOOOOD!!!!
Yaaaaaaas!!!! 🤤🤤🤤
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It's all new to me too and my youngest of 5 is only 9 years-old!
Ive never heard of push presents before, only baby showers. I never had either, LOL. Presents are always nice, and I think, if you want to give a mama a present, go for it. No need to label it. ;)
Exactly...why label things!?!
I'd never heard of such a thing however, when I went to baby showers I always tried to my the mother a personal gift.
While pregnant, my brother and his gf bought me chocolates, a magazine, and candles or something. It was so nice. That's why I get something for mom.
I think that the father of the baby should feel obligated to give a gift even if it's just a letter.
I know that someone here said that it shouldn't be expected- I don't agree; not pertaining to the father at least. Yes, he does endure various other things that mama doesn't but it will never compare to what mama goes through. Furthermore, in some cases (like myself) the woman doesn't have mood swings and crazy other side of town cravings. He didn't give me massages, hot baths, etc. It was all on me.
Everywhere I went, "oh can I touch your belly", "how far along are you", etc. Don't get me wrong, I know that's part of being pregnant but I began feeling like I didn't exist. I was only the baby carrier.
No one asked me how I was.
No one cared to make me feel comfortable.
I had two baby showers (his family before arrival and mine afterwards) and was showered with too many gifts. It went on forever (his family was fairly well off) and no one considered that I was tired, hot, or annoyed. I sat there like a robot accepting gift after gift after... More wash cloths, more oil and lotion, and sometimes duplicate onsies.
They all enjoyed their buckets of happy being filled because they were helping these poor unfortunate children (I was 27- hardly a child). They were excited that THEIR GRANDCHILD, THEIR niece or nephew, THEIR cousin, THEIR bosses grandkid that they had to accept the invitation to the shower for, was going to be born soon.
Gift after gift I grew so tired. They congratulated the baby's father, they basked in the gifts that each person bought, they chatted about family and work. I was bothered by the fact that these traditional people seemed to be PERSONALLY put out by the fact that we didn't know our child's gender and that they didn't know if they should by dolls or cars!! Of course, when I told them that both were great, I was given a 80% confused look and 20% disgust.
When I finally got frustrated and said, "No more gifts, let's take a break I need a drink" the majority of the people looked put out by me and insulted. My ex was mad that I was "so rude".
I made my way to look at the cake so that I could mentally separate myself for a minute and what I saw could make me cry to this day; my name was spelled wrong.
That might not seem like a big deal but, it threw me over the edge with emptiness. No one cared. I didn't exist. I was also upset that my bfs name was first but that emotion is debatable I guess....
When I went into labor I was asked if I could WAIT until dad was finished work. No. And... no.
My body is not the same and never will be- that's ok. Dad isn't in the picture despite the fact that we choose to have the baby at that time so that his I'll Mother could live to meet a Grandchild. I get NO help from that side if the family- it's like we do not exist.
At first, they were great about my Daughter but as time progressed it seemed like the more she was my child the less they considered her their family. In my opinion, I'm also their family wether they like it or not.
When my brother bought me a personal gift (and I think my mom got me a spa certificate) I nearly cried. I hadn't realized how much I NO longer existed until someone put a mirror in my face to remind me that I did.
------- A child isn't just for mother and father- they are a family gift unlike any other gift possible; a Grandchild, a cousin, a nephew... the bearer should be thanked and she should be cared for by everyone during pregnancy.
Perhaps a "push gift" (I simply call it Mama gift... I also think Dad gifts are lovely and at least one given if gifts are being given) isn't something that should be a necessity from everyone. Dad to be should feel it necessary to thank mom in some way- be it an expensive spa day or a small letter. Mom's could also thank dad- in my case, I don't think it would have been deserving given that his life WAS NOT affected.
Maybe best friends and mother of mother could do the push gift thing as well. If my best friend is having a baby I want her to know that I'm THERE FOR MY BEST FRIEND and I got her back.
It wouldn't hurt if someone skipped out on one of the 100 bottles of oil to get even a nice candle from the dollar store so mom can feel acknowledged, appreciated and loved.
Side note: of all the junk that we but one another for the most ridiculous holidays... if this is a debatable gift idea than people need to really think about why they're buying or making gifts in the first place.
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All those typos and grammar wrongs. I'm not going to edit it, it's readable.
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This is literally me most responses lol. <3
You got it!! I think one of the best gifts for me would be not be forgotten as soon as the little one arrived. Everyone gathered by the baby while mum is sitting on the other side of the room.
Mama gifts sound much nicer and how lovely of you to think of not only the baby but Mumma too when spoiling the baby at a shower.
Aww thank you.
I almost forgot to come back to this and comment. When I first read your post I wasn't in the "typey" mood. As you can see, I certainly was chatty when I came back.
Such an excellent topic to bring up. I appreciate that it made me think and feel. That's what good writing and good topics do!!
🌻
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es un tema muy interesante.
Here's my push present for you!
this is from both me and @beerlover 😉
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