The Wedgie Heard Around Pirate World
Captain Smith of the Royal Navy’s newest warship, the HMS Boaty McCannonmonger, lowered his spyglass. Stepping forward to address his seamen that night, with a bellowing voice, he shouted:
“Men! I have seen the enemy, and they are near. We sail to Deadman’s Bay, the notorious home of those dastardly pirates. You may have thought that this was a place of myth, nothing but tall tales from drunk sailors. You were wrong. Never has there been a more disgusting gathering of treacherous maniacs than those who reside in Deadman’s Bay and frequent The Salty Tavern.”
His men were shocked. They had always thought Deadman’s Bay was a joke amongst sailors.
“This is where we have be sailing! We are here to eliminate this scourge once and for AHHHHHHHHLLLLLLLL!!!!!!”
His men looked at their captain in utter confusion. He must have just gotten very excited. They all knew how much Captain Smith despised pirates, after they had plundered his booty and his dog.
Captain Smith fell to his knees. Clearly his conviction to Her Royal Majesty’s desire to wipe out the pirates had overwhelmed him. His men were overtaken with confidence and joined him in his battlecry:
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHLLLLLLL!!!!!!”, they shouted in unison with their commanding officer.
Little did they know that this was no battlecry comin’ from Captain Smith, but a cry of pure, unbridl’d pain. He had been visit’d by “The Bloody Raven” herself, @kerrislravenhill, who had just administer’d the Wedgie of Ultimate Justice, pullin’ his nickers so far up his poop deck that her title of Bloody Raven was not betray’d.
As she slipp’d off the HMS Boaty McCannonmonger with the crew none the wiser, doin’ a badass ninja backflip, she landed in a parkour roll onto the deck of her stealthy cruiser “The Bloody Raven” (named after herself, of course).
The Man o’ War may still be sailin’ toward Deadman’s Bay, but with her captain anally incapacitated, her crew will have a much harrrrder time maintainin’ their ship, and their cool.
This be the result of @kerrislravenhill’s attack in the Pirate World boss quest here: https://steemit.com/hive-197918/@reverendrum/boss-quest-defeat-the-british-man-o-war
Good on Kerris fer possibly the most epic attack we’ve seen in Pirate World yet!
Want in on the action? All are welcome in Pirate World, the best ARRRPG on the blockchain (or so I’ve heard):
Subscribe to the Pirate World community (https://beta.steemit.com/created/hive-197918) for quest updates and more.
Claim y'er very own ship while ye have time!
(Happy @wwwiebe?)
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Fer hundreds o' years me enemies cannae forsee an' endure an attack so vicious, painful, an' embarrassin. An attack executed in such inhuman cold blood it defies description an' unspakable, yet took three centuries of combat experience and th' amalgamation of no less than three martial arts styles to execute.
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And thus was born the term 'butt-hurt'
The legend of the Wedgie of Ultimate Justice will be writt'n in the anals of Pirate World history ferever and ever.
This... was epic. That representative sculpture of unbridled anal pain... was epic.
I salute thee.
!BEER
Epic enough for more than a 20? Just sayin'...
The last time I executed this TWWTD (The Wedgie-worse-than-death) was on Hannab Khan, the insanely ambitious and much more dangerous cousin of Kublai Khan. The next day the General could only sit Side-saddle on his horse when he tried to lead his Mongol Horde into South China. You don't want to sit that way leading the elite Mongol Army, enough said.
Sorry, out of BEER, please retry later...
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