Please! Just Stop

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PIXABAY

It never stops. It's never getting better. I'm laying down on the floor counting the ceilings in my room to pass away time. I thought that time was supposed to be a gift? But right now it's bitter to me, I don't know if I want time to keep on running or for it to just remain static and never stops. But do you know what I want the most? I want to go back in time, not just yesterday, last week or a year back. I want to go to four years back in time, I want to change my story, I want to correct my mistakes and if I can't make it right, at least I want to make it better

Oh! Four years is too long to go back to right? You know I can read thoughts and I see yours, but please can I just go back to two years' time? Just two, not four. I know I can't but I'm just asking to pass on and on to another time the clock is ticking and I can see it. My judgment has been laid and I will maybe be executed by my fate or I will survive? I don't know

Do they say when life gives you lemon make it a lemonade? But that doesn't work for me because I try to turn my lemon to lemonade but when I open it, it wasn't good. A black coloration and awful smell spring fort from it. Fuss, life doesn't just give me a lemon but a spoilt one but still all hope isn't loss right? I go in search of sugar to make my lemonade but there was a gathering of ants in it. I chase them away and I recover a little minimal of sugar only. I look at my water it wasn't pure, it has been diluted and at the end what I made was sour than a vinegar.

Do you say I am too ambitious? Do you say I should stop looking at my mates doing better? Do you say I should also know I am better than far others? That's what you want to say right? Like I said earlier, I know your thoughts and can see what's in that mind of yours.
Don't judge me for wanting better. You are not me, you don't know what my heart yearns for. When you say Oh child you are too young, you shouldn't bother yourself. There are better days ahead. I do know you say those words trying to relieve a from me burden that you can't.

Hold your words please because they won't change the emptiness I feel, they won't change the definition of useless that I give to myself at times. It won't change the feeling of being old while I just approached my youth. Because nothing ever works. I have lost the memory of the last time I see a better day. I will believe there is a better day for me when I see one and I will feel whole when I do. For now, I will just keep on fighting


Thanls for reading. I remain @prechyrukky



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