😜Another 1️⃣ of those Shitty Witty Stories👀 (Participation in @snook's Zombie Art Writing Contest)

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Writing

I used to make elaborate posts that I considered high quality creations. After much time spent on these relevant chains and seeing posts with nothing more than a meme or a sentence getting voted up to over a hundred dollars, I decided to refrain from putting hours and hours into them when they weren't worth more than those bullshit posts. I also realized that this is a social network and quality itself, is subjective. What seemed to matter (and still does) was more who you know than the actual 'product' you are delivering to the audiences that receive it. So, maybe this story will entertain not only the artist of that picture up there, my sis @snook - who beat me with an icy cane to get me to participate in her Hive Writing Contest, but put a smile on a random #hivemind I have never met. Or maybe it might make you pee your fucking pants.

High Heel Heresy

Who would have ever guessed the Zombie Apocalypse would start the night I wore a rubber bodycon dress along with eight-inch high heels. The dress and high heel shoes saved my life and many others in the years to come. Probably because I was able to shake my sexy ass into some safe houses that they normally wouldn't have let your average Ugly-Kid-Joe in to. It was getting real bad and it didn't start out as a zombie menace to our social infrastructure. No, it started as a simple influenza type virus that just got worse.

The Masks

I remember about 6 years ago, this thing called COVID-19 had emerged from somewhere in Asia and it spread exponentially causing a global panic in the pandemic that followed. Many businesses were shut down and even schools closed to try and prevent the spread of the virus. Families became isolated from each other with their only means of communication being digital interfaces. Everywhere you went, people were wearing masks and even gloves and crazy goggles to keep from getting or spreading it.


Different global governments tried tirelessly to find suitable ways to combat the little invader, and for a few years, none proved successful. China came very close to finding an actual cure which, when tested on well over a thousand people in a controlled environment, worked extremely well having a 100% success rate. In a rash attempt to save humanity from their unintentionally forced hermit vices, the Chinese government deployed a worldwide vaccination umbrella using various weather systems and cloud manipulation to inoculate everyone simultaneously. Funny thing about nature though, it doesn't always play by humankind's rules and hopes.

The Umbrella

In theory, it should have worked. The only problem with a controlled environment and a live interactive unpredictable one is - well - it's unpredictable. Nature always finds a way as evolution has proved this time and time again. When China let loose the 'cure', they also inadvertently forced Mother Nature's hand into a rapid evolution and if you know anything about viruses, they are the best at it.


Nobody really knows how many under the umbrella it actually mutated in because it spread so quickly and violently that it was hard to pinpoint the epicenter. All anyone really knows is that the new strain, causes a devolution to take place in human morality and rationale. You ever seen any of those zombie movies where the person goes nuts and tries killing and eating everything that moves? Exactly like that - only this shit was real. Unbelievable to most, as the reports started flooding in, it was scoffed at like a modern day attempt at 'War of the Worlds' from H.G. Wells. They thought the footage was bogus and just carried on paying little mind to what was actually happening. WORST JOKE EVER.

War of the Worlds

And then it came to my neighborhood. I remember hearing screams down the streets as people were being mutilated and killed. I didn't know what was going on, just discombobulated by the realism of it all. I saw my neighbor get bitten on the face, screaming and then - I don't know - it was like he took stupid manhunter pills or something and looked in my direction. I had just gotten back from an ill-fated date (even bought a brand new dress for that asshole and forced myself to slip on those heels) but fate is a funny thing. Just like nature and the chaos theory.


If I hadn't been wearing those heels, I dare say I wouldn't be in this shelter right now, telling you kids my story. I mean, I don't carry a gun or even knives around with me and I just froze as this new species started towards me. I am not ashamed to say I had on a mask preventing any of that nasty spittle from getting in my airway as he lunged and groveled at me. I tried to turn and run but the heels stuck in the ground and I ended up doing the stupid woman in a movie thing by falling and twisting my ankle. The heel slipped partly off and I grabbed at my ankle, freeing my tangled foot and snatching up my designer pumps in the process. As I proceeded to get back up and run away, it was too late and the flight part of fight or flight was expired.

As he grabbed at my dress, the material was too slick for him to get a worthy grip and he fumbled his grasp. The only thing that came to mind was hit it with the shoe. So I did. I hit that fucker so hard the thin heel pierced his skull just above his eye and penetrated far enough into his brain that he stopped, literally, dead in his tracks. Then there I stood, frozen in shock and awe. I looked around and saw people getting just devoured and dismembered. It was far from pretty. I scrambled to find my keys, got in my car and drove as fast and as far away as I could, mascara and eyeliner drizzling down my face in a mixture of salty frightened tears.

Today

As you can tell, I am still wearing that dress and sporting these 'killer' heels. It's who I am now. The world changes and you have to change with it or be swallowed by the flood. Our prevention for spreading the virus has gotten much better since then, with a new ionization process that renders the virus dead once airborne. Now the only way to get it, is just like in those old stupid ass movies. The irony of it all. I always wanted to star in a movie.

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because I can
So Can WE
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16 comments
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I will give you my mammoth 100% upvote for the time you spent formatting alone.

The rest is just bonus wisdom and jockularity.

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That was pretty "Good"!
I liked it!
👍🏼😊👍🏼
Have a Great Upcoming Week!

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(Edited)

!popcorn

Hmmm... doesn't work anymore. How about 🥓?
Choice selection with Heresy, been a while since I listed to Death Metal.

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Mushroomhead is the tits! Thanks for reading 😍🤗

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(Edited)

Thank You!!!!!!!

YES!!!!!!! I LOVED this story!!

You had me reading faster and faster to see where it went.

I loved how you made it into folklore like so people growing up never forget.

I love it when you write. Really write but you know that already.

Thank You for taking the time to write your story for me and all that will read it!

Bravo!! please find time once and a while to write more stories.

HUGS

Snook Aproved.png

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This post has received a 100.00% upvote from @fambalam! Join thealliance community to get whitelisted for delegation to this community service.

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What an excellent story. I loved the way you blended in COVID19 and the fast pace of it, including the music. I didn't know you wrote so well Witty - I'm sorry I've missed them, because to be honest, I hate just photos and memes, and would rather read something this brilliant any day, especially if it involves zombies.

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Thanks hun and thanks for reading! That was the thing though, I used to put out stories quite a bit, even had a comic going and it just never gained traction and attention. So, now they are farther between. 😏

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I love the way you painted the blood and gore, it was really lovely, it's a beautiful story nonetheless. I enjoyed reading

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Awesome, thanks for stopping in and checking it out :)

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You make a very sexy woman Witty
I love how you discovered your secret weapon and that it is such a gorgeous weapon too
Enjoyed the read...

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I do love women so have made it a habit to know them inside and out. Guess I'm in touch with my feminine side :P thanks for reading sweets!

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