roommate roulette: back at the tables again

over 4 years ago

It’s a new season and I’m back to choosing a new roommate. I’ve had so many manifestations of a roommate, I feel like the vacancy of the room creates a regeneration like Dr Who.

In this case, I’m the Doctor. My home is my Tardis and it’s me that’s looking for a new “companion.”

I’m back to my “auditioning routine” of quieting my mind so I can make a wise choice as I listen to prospective roommates’ songs. There are people with “OMG-save-me” energy who walk through my front door but I’m meeting also some very organized people who are looking for a place to live and have their ducks lined up.

I’m terrible with the OMG-save-me people. I struggle to come up with a name of someone that I met in a desperate time of their life and they are still my friend. They may even appear somewhat organized, upbeat and bouncy. But there’s an extra something something that puts up a flag warning that they are vampires in disguise. I made enough mistakes to learn that I need to not look at strangers with teacher eyes. Not everyone cares about their grades. Some just want to skate by, have a lark, and leave.

No Tardis key for you!

I’m getting better at distinguishing between nice and good. God is in the details as well as the devil.

If you can say that your life has a lot of lovely and remarkable people who are your treasure, you’ve done well building your world. I’m sure you protect it like a Tardis and don’t let just anyone in.

Wish me luck.

I wish I had the vision of a time lord.

JNET

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9 comments

@qsounds 58

over 4 years ago

Best of Luck! :)

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over 4 years ago

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@practicalthought 67

over 4 years ago

Good luck. I can't imagine living with a roommate. Relationships are hard enough, doing so with someone even more distant makes me shudder. But then I prefer my privacy.

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@jnetsworld 61

over 4 years ago (Edited)

Living with roommates has taught me a lot. Being forthright and standing my ground with someone I am not related to, is a good place to practice relating with the outside world as well the closer and more personal relationships. Being told by people who are not related to me that they love living with me is a compliment.

I love my privacy as well. I want to be able to sit on my couch and not feel obliged to talk or be hijacked into someone’s noise. I tell people straight out that I’m an introvert and like to be in my head. No need to fill the silence with sound. I tell them to text me if I’m in my room. If we can make phone calls and texts wait til a good time, a roommate can honor time at home. JNET is not on-demand to anyone.

A relationship might be much harder. People tend to take the people they care the most, for granted. There’s an even greater demand to balance sharing and being “good selfish”. And then there’s the challenge of maintaining personal identity while building a team identity.

Creating a thriving home space with someone I don’t love and simply honor as a fellow human that I chose to be my roommate has taught me a lot. Some had been terrible. But many remain friends.

Thanks for the luck!

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