Thursday morning, at seven, after sitting in my chair, I had sent a message to my lover. Good morning, I wrote. And only check one. No problem. I understand the nature of my lover. While working, he never turns on the cellphone. However, I was happy enough to send him a message even without a reply.

At eight o'clock, I miss him already. While brewing black tea, I type the message again. What are you doing? Of course there is no answer. I told you, I memorized the behavior. Even without a reply, I'm happy.

At nine o'clock, behind the laptop, witnessed by a flower of your flower, I type the message again. Enjoy your work, I wrote. Of course without reply. I need not say that I am very familiar with his nature. Even so, I'm happy. By sending a message, it makes me excited to work until one o'clock in the afternoon.

Raina, my officemate, who sits right at the table next to me, often shakes her head. "What are you sending messages for that are never answered?" I chuckled. I don't need to answer. He will not understand. For me, sending a message similar to therapy. That is for myself.

Three o'clock, my mind was not calm. I want to go home and wait for a message from my lover. Usually he replies at five. Impatiently, I looked at the seconds the clock was rolling right. Soon. Four o'clock, I was able to immediately dashed home. I tucked the white cell phone in the bag.

Four o'clock. As soon as I pressed the automatic timesheet, my feet hurried down the steps, down the dusty sidewalk, and lined up at the station. Shortly thereafter, I was already among hundreds of people on the train. The smell of sweat, the scent of pain, the aroma of despair, all mixed up. The days of this pandemic are not easy. But I don't want to be like them.

Luckily I have a perfect lover. Just thinking about it, I'm already happy.

Five minutes before five o'clock, I arrived at the rented house. I am very tired. But I know, soon my lover will soon answer the messages I sent.

I put the bag on the table, rushed to the room, then reached for a black cellphone on the cupboard. I opened the cellphone, found thirteen messages: 'good morning', 'what are you doing', 'good work', and other sweet messages. I immediately replied. There was a feeling of warmth in my chest, warmer than my mother's palm rub, when I saw a sign that my reply was sent. Then, the cellphone in my bag rang. My message has been answered. I am happy.[By Sasti Gotama]

Kekasih Sempurna

Kamis pagi, pukul tujuh, setelah duduk di kursi kerja, saya sudah mengirim pesan pada kekasih saya. Selamat pagi, tulis saya. Dan hanya centang satu. Tak apa. Saya paham tabiat kekasih saya. Saat bekerja, ia tak pernah menyalakan ponsel. Namun, saya sudah cukup bahagia dengan mengiriminya pesan walau tanpa balasan.

Pukul delapan, saya sudah rindu. Sambil menyeduh teh hitam, saya ketik pesan sekali lagi. Sedang apa? Tentu saja tak ada jawaban. Sudah saya katakan, saya hafal tabiatnya. Walaupun tanpa balasan, saya sudah senang.

Pukul sembilan, di balik laptop, dengan disaksikan setangkai bunga alamanda, saya mengetik pesan lagi. Selamat bekerja, tulis saya. Tentu saja tanpa balasan. Tak perlu saya ucapkan lagi bahwa saya sangat mengenal tabiatnya. Walaupun begitu, saya sudah senang. Dengan mengirim pesan, sudah membuat saya bergairah kerja sampai pukul satu siang.

Raina, kawan sekantor, yang duduk tepat di meja sebelah saya, seringkali menggelengkan kepala. “Untuk apa kau mengirimkan pesan yang tak pernah dijawab?” Saya tergelak. Tak perlu saya jawab. Dia tak akan mengerti. Bagi saya, mengirim pesan serupa terapi. Itu untuk diri saya sendiri.

Pukul tiga, pikiran saya sudah tak tenang. Saya ingin segera pulang dan menunggu pesan dari kekasih saya. Biasanya ia membalas pukul lima. Dengan tak sabar, saya memandang detik jam yang bergulir ke kanan. Sebentar lagi. Pukul empat, saya sudah bisa segera melesat pulang. Ponsel putih saya selipkan dalam tas.

Pukul empat. Segera setelah saya menekan alat absen otomatis, kaki saya bergegas menuruni anak tangga, menyusuri trotoar berdebu, dan mengantre di stasiun. Tak lama kemudian, saya sudah terhimpit di antara ratusan orang dalam kereta. Aroma keringat, aroma kepedihan, aroma keputusasaan, semua bercampur baur. Hari-hari di masa pandemi ini tidaklah mudah. Tetapi saya tak ingin seperti mereka.

Untunglah saya memiliki kekasih sempurna. Dengan memikirkannya saja, saya sudah bahagia.

Lima menit sebelum pukul lima, saya sudah sampai di kontrakan. Tubuh saya letih luar biasa. Tetapi saya tahu, sebentar lagi kekasih saya akan segera menjawab pesan-pesan yang saya kirimkan.

Saya letakkan tas di atas meja, bergegas ke arah kamar, lalu meraih sebuah ponsel hitam di atas lemari. Saya buka ponsel itu, menemukan tiga belas pesan: 'selamat pagi', 'sedang apa', 'selamat bekerja', dan pesan-pesan manis lainnya. Segera saya balas. Ada rasa hangat di dada saya, lebih hangat dari usapan telapak tangan ibu, saat melihat tanda bahwa balasan saya terkirim. Lalu, ponsel di tas saya berbunyi.

Pesan saya sudah terjawab. Saya bahagia.[By Sasti Gotama]