I Got Cat Called...

in #writing2 months ago

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...and it’s alright.

I was walking through a public park in the city center and there were maybe six guys, all of whom were significantly darker skinned than the average finnish person, who got visibly excited when I walked by and started to whistle and try to talk to me in English. I didn’t actually listen what they said because I had my headphones on and I tune out random comments.

Why I mention their skin colour is because, one I see colour, I’m not blind, and two, that is relevant to their behavior compared to average Finnish man, who is still very pale as it is. While globalizations is increasing, we haven’t been mixing with the darker skinned people for long so Finland is still majorly white and it’s safe to assume that most darker skinned people here haven’t been born here and thus their cultural heritage and behavior is very different from us. We don’t talk to strangers on the street, not unless we are drunk, only then we might have the courage to speak to a yet unknown person in the public. And that’s actually my favourite thing about Finland, you get to be in peace if you want to.

Back to my original topic of cat calling. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong about it. Nothing. It’s a compliment that you didn’t ask for but when do you ever ask for compliments to begin with. Is it rude? Maybe. Annoying? Maybe. But degrating or illegal? No and shouldn’t be.

We are sexual beings, not too far removed from wild monkeys, and act as such. Some people just show that more easily, others keep those thoughts to themselves. If I see a fine male specimen, you can be sure I do the head to toe look and maybe even a double take, thinking to myself that I wouldn’t mind having that closer to me. I don’t act upon it but looking at visually pleasing humans is a great way to perk up your day. Get that natural dopamine!

I find it really stupid that some feminists are trying to vilify looking at someone with lustful eyes or yelling ”nice ass!” If it was the co-worker you have a crush on looking at you longingly, you’d feel butterflies and want more of it, but because it’s a person you don’t fancy, the same action makes you feel something negative. You can’t vilify that action because that random person on the street can’t know if you fancy them. They are just showing you they fancy you, a little poke to see how you respond, they might just get lucky. Mind you, if someone grabs you without your permission, that’s not alright, it’s coming too close.

Remember that even if someone makes you feel an emotion, be that positive or negative, it isn’t actually them making you feel something, but you reacting a certain way, regardless of what they might have wanted you to feel. If you feel threatened or emotionally hurt, it doesn’t necessarily mean the person you react to wanted you to feel those things.

It is alright to look, it’s alright to fantasize, it’s even alright to speak up about it. Chill out about the cat calling. Just walk it off and/or say no thank you. It really is that simple.

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I know how you feel - ever since I grew this beard I just get women staring at me. Men too.

The crosses we bear!

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You know, when I read this post from Eve I thought immediately of you and your magnificent beard...How it must feel to be an object of desire to all and sundry. It takes a strong person to carry that burden, clearly the right person is doing so in your case.

#nobeardnogood

Haha yes thank you!

I look upon it as a noble struggle!

What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?

Winston Churchill

🙂

we should start a beard community on hive

Good call!

*stalks the beard community *

/strokes beard

Don't worry bro...When we went for that walk the other day don't think I didn't hear all the gals cat-calling at ya. Not good for my own ego, but still...Being seen with one such as you, so magnificently bearded...It's good for my street cred.

That's because we didn't wander through the retirement homes that surround the area. If we had, would've been a different story. "Excuse me, tall young men, can you get something from that tall shelf? No, not that one, higher. Hiiigher!"

Lol...Good point.

Lmao!!!😂😂😂😂😂i don't know if I should say sorry right now

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Na, don't. I'm lovin't

I can 100% believe that and I know you love it!

I'm glad that you took it as a compliment as that's exactly what it is... maybe not the best way but after all its not an insult. I've always wondered why many women work so hard on their appearance and then get insulted even if you look at them admiringly. Beauty is a grand thing. Luckily in some countries you can smile at a lovely female and they'll smile back. Its only a smile and no need to think its more. That's a great feeling. I applaud your positive attitude!

”Because I don’t make myself pretty to impress anyone else, I do it for myself!” Which has some truth to it but also a big part of it is utter bullshit.

I don’t usually encourage cat calling with a smile, but if an older gentleman, I’m talking 70+, gives me a compliment, you can be sure I’ll give a sweet smile and thank them.

Yes the thing most men don't understand is that telling a good looking woman she looks good is the least original thing you can do. Speak to her soul and then you've got something to say... Looks are all good and well but at the end we all get old and wrinkly if we make it that far :) I've never cat called a woman. Just not my style. A woman knows if you appreciate her. Appreciating beauty is an important part of life whether a flower, painting or a beautiful woman walking by. I think many men act rude to beautiful women because they are insecure and think they can not ever actually speak to her on an equal level. Or something to do with Freud? haha Who knows? Anyway keep doing whatever you like to do :)

If I was a cat....I will sooo call you!!! Lol

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Smooth.

I don’t particularly like cats.

Hahaha....nice one!well.....that I know now...

I totally understand what you're saying... but I don't think people have an issue with the cat calling by itself... it's what the cat calling leads to. You live in an extremely safe country. There are lots of areas where women get cat-called 30 times on every walk... which leads to being followed, or being touched or grabbed and then maybe worse. There are lots of cities where reports of this sort of harassment are ignored and women are essentially on their own.

I'm glad you feel safe when you go for a walk... but unfortunately that's a lot more rare than you may realise.

Well if they talk about cat calling and ”weird” looks, I’m gonna assume that is what they mean. And yes I do know I live in a very safe country, I can walk alone at night and I don’t have to be afraid. I’m privilaged to be born here.

Not my style but each to their own, enjoy the compliments 😎

I know, you are shy and sweet :)

😊

In public 😋

HIVE.D!

👏😎🥓👍

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That looks like an interesting read, will add that to my list :)

Not getting involved. See you on the next post :)

Don’t run away my only black friend!

I agree with you on the cat calling logic.

Its funny, in Canada you would be public enemy #1 for this comment

While globalizations is increasing, we haven’t been mixing with the darker skinned people for long so Finland is still majorly white and it’s safe to assume that most darker skinned people here haven’t been born here and thus their cultural heritage and behavior is very different from us.

I have been saying that for years from a neutral stand point and increasingly been called a racist or a Nazi over the years, then accused of white privilege (as a Ukrainian LOL). IN grade 10 the teachers said that's a good concerns to bring up about the melting pot and culture clash, now I cant state that without cause a scene with unpredictable emotional out lashes.

I don’t believe for a second I said anything wrong there. I’m sure those coming from for example Middle East or Africa say that Finnish people are cold and reserved, and it’s not an insult, it’s true. We are different.

I think it’s important and very interesting to talk about cultural differences. We can learn and even if we don’t agree, we can understand where the other person is coming from with their behavior. Talking about cultural differences is one of my favourite topics when ever I travel.

I enjoy the topic of how different we are too, but it is a dialogue that will get you unexpected reactions here and its usually from certain political groups with an agenda to manipulate free speech.

I think we can actually have these conversations here. Try the same on facebook, twitter or instagram and the leftists will destroy the talk even before it begun.

Thank you for being my favorite gal on Hive for this reason lol

My pleasure 😊

cool outfit

Thanks! 😄

Cat-calling isn't my style to be honest...Despite being a delectable shade of mocha.

Remember that even if someone makes you feel an emotion, be that positive or negative, it isn’t actually them making you feel something, but you reacting a certain way, regardless of what they might have wanted you to feel.

I agree with the above though...So many people allow others to affect how they feel...But really it's the individual who allows themselves to feel a certain way. I learned this early on in life as I was brutally vilified for being the wrong colour in the eyes of the kids at school, and other places. As soon as I realised that I had the ability to make myself feel this way or that then things took a turn. I am grateful for the racism, hate and physical abuse I received...It taught me many lessons...And made me the person I am today...That good, bad and indifferent individual that we all are.

I’ve only come to really realise this not too long ago. I’m much more careful to evaluate my feelings now and really think of what it is that ticked me off. Often my initial feeling is unreasonable and result of some insecurity or past trauma. Realising something like that doesn’t immediately take away the negative feeling but makes it easier to sort of ride the wave.

Denying people the ability to make you feel bad or negative is an important skill I think. It's hard though, hard to learn and deploy, but once learned it can be valuable and help a person live a more happy and positive life. It seems like you're on track.

To demonize, or suppress the primal urges we have, is not going to be a good idea as it can take people towards aggression.

Though, there should be some limit as well on the other side I think. What can happen if they want to pass the cat calling?

The primal urge thing is a tricky subject, since I do think people should learn how to control their urges. Not too much, not too little. Understanding our biological needs and how they fit into the modern society is an interesting topic.

Definitely a subject to think about deeply.

A refreshingly sane perspective!

Why thank you, it’s not often I get called sane 😂

first of all you "dare" point out what those dark skinned guys what they are: intrusive - and that you usually would not see such behaviour in your local population. These times with the big hyped racism debate going on that is sane.
And you don't make a big drama of the "incident", which I also find very sane...

But what I did do is make a few bucks out of it ;) and that’s kinda a big deal for a post on social media from a nobody!

I'm still wondering was there ever a time that a woman was cat called and it worked, guy gets number, they go out, live happily ever after, the end

I highly doubt it 😂

lol wanna bet, consider being the mutual friend of the cat and the caller, knowing they had common interest and giving their phone numbers to each other.

If we leave the happily ever after out of this, all the other desires of the caller manifested because I was a good wing man LOL

Lol aren’t you the cubid!

lol i get a 20% on the exam cause there no happily ever after tho, drop out cupid at best