APOLOGY: A SIGN OF MATURITY OR WEAKNESS ?
Many people don't still understand the power of an apology. Some say it is a sign of weakness, others are of the school of thought that saying "I am sorry" is for too emotional people while some say it is a sign of maturity and strength. Well, what do you think?
Over time, the world has come to normalize and accept specific standards for freedom of expression and other societal decaying factors.
Apology Is simply the act of saying I am sorry, and making a deliberate effort to fix things to show you really meant your words. I mean, it is one thing to say "I AM SORRY" and it's another to really mean those words, and one sure way to really mean something is by taking necessary actions.
The truth is, we are sometimes scared to apologize to people not because we don't know how to but because we feel it makes us vulnerable and gives the other parties the upper hand. In the real sense, vulnerability in this subject is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of maturity. It shows willingness to grow and learn which is key in any form of relationship.
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
I remember way back in High school when my classmates had issues with our exam administrator. We were preparing for our WAEC exam and for this reason, we had to collaborate with another private school - Fastspeed in our area to conduct practical lessons for students. Our exam administrator took us to Fastspeed school on the first day and while we were en route inside the school bus he clearly told us that from the next day, we should find our way and not expect the school bus to take us there.
The next time came for us to go to Fastspeed school and this time around, we were asked to come as early as 7:30 am. Following his instruction, we all decided to meet outside our school at strategic locations so we could meet up in time and get to the school early not knowing that some parents already went to make complaints about why the school is not taking us there every time since we paid for it.
Unaware of the brewing chaos in our school, after the practical lessons ended, we decided to go back to our school and give feedback to our exam administrator on what we learned and share other vital information regarding our forthcoming exams. On entering the school gate, we noticed the tension in the air but then we couldn't even decipher what was wrong. After a while, the Vice-principal came out of her office with bundles of cane and then summoned for an emergency assembly asking us to come out of our classroom. This was when it dawned on us that there was trouble in paradise.
She accused us of disobeying instructions given by our exam administrator and asked that some students get tables for us to lie on and get flogged at the back. We were so shocked and rebelled against her order. We later found out that the exam administrator denied telling us to find our way to Fastspeed school after much pressure on him from the school management just to save his job and reputation.
After much argument and threats, we succumbed to her order and we were heavily flogged that our backs had marks and most of us cried especially the girls.
It was a very painful experience for us not just because we were forced but because our exam administrator who was one of our closest teachers, lied to save himself, and not only that never came to apologize.
We all hated him from that day and we had to cut off any form of association with him. The funny thing is that even after many years, most of us never forgave him and still don't associate with him.
I mean, we were expecting him to come boldly to apologize since we understood that he lied just to save his job. even if it wasn't in school, at least we had other places we met to chill and discuss outside the school walls.
A sincere apology would have saved and still kept our relationship with him intact.
MORAL LESSONS
From my story, it is very obvious that this exam administrator felt apologizing would make him feel weak and embarrassed and maybe give us a sense of winning but the truth is, he was actually the loser because having healthy relationships with people is more important and beneficial.
One of the reasons people give for not apologizing is that they want to save face but why try to save face at the detriment, hurt, and pain of others? Ain't that a selfish act?
THE BENEFIT OF APOLOGIES
Apologies helps restore personal relationship quickly and helps quick acceptance back into the society
Apologies help heal old wounds easily and show that the offender is willing to change and make amends.
Apologies show that you still care about the well-being of the affected parties.
What's Next?
An apology is never a sign of weakness but a good sign of maturity and strength.
It is therefore important that we learn to apologize and express ourselves assertively.
ACTION POINT: Do you have someone you need to sincerely tell "I am sorry" and make necessary amends? Why not reach out now and show that you still care and want what's best for them? I'll be here rooting for you😍
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-Hi! I agree with your thoughts about the apology. And for me, an apology is not only about weakness or maturity, we can also add that it is more about humility and accepting the truth that we all commit mistakes intentional or not, mostly because of selfishness, ego and not being sensitive to the feeling of others. The apology also comes with repentance and change for the better. An apology without repentance and change is useless. Apology and repentance also step toward achieving forgiveness too, and if apology and repentance are accomplished it pleased God, to where we should first ask for an apology. Thank you for sharing this topic! Have a blessed day!🙏
I completely agree with you on the fact that an apology without repentance and change is useless.
We are humans and we sometimes make mistakes, knowing and accepting this will easily make anyone humble and willing to let go of ego.
Thanks for your awesome comment. Much love🥰
Apologies doesn't mean you are weak, I know t be world today makes it feel like the one who apologize is the weaker one which is totally wrong in my own opinion, saying sorry for something to did wrong is a sign maturity and it really really help settles a misunderstanding before it turns conflict
Exactly!! Apology is a sign of strength and maturity but most people percieve it the other way round and this has hindered and broken many relationships.
Thanks for your awesome comment. Much love🥰
To be honest, apologizing isn't exactly easy. It means you were wrong and many people don't like being wrong or admitting it.
It's the way we're wired, but that doesn't mean it's right. We all just have to be conscious and work towards taking responsibility.
Sorry about the beating. 😂 And forgive your teacher too.
What your teacher did was not cool at all. How can a whole group of students choose to lie to their parents at the same time.
If my child was beaten for something he/she didn't do, I will not take it lightly with those involve at all.
Although I get your point. Apologies are very important.