“I’m sorry”- a statement of accountability.
“I’m sorry” means different things to different people, both in how it’s used and how it’s understood when someone says it to you. In this post, I’m going focus on how (or why) it’s used.
Why do people say “I’m sorry” though?
Well it varies and depends on the person.
Most people apologize when they feel that they’re in the wrong or they’ve said or done something to hurt someone they love. In my opinion, this is the right way to use “I’m sorry”.
But of course, you can’t make it a regular thing to keep hurting the people you love and apologizing. That would be unfair to them and inhuman of you. Besides, saying something too frequently and too many times makes it lose it’s value, especially if it’s stuff like serial apologies or love bombing.
Me, I don’t have a problem with saying sorry, as long as I understand I’m wrong. I feel like this is something a lot of people don’t get about me, even people who are close to me. If I’m not agreeing with you on something for example, it just means I think I’m right and I don’t see how I’m wrong. If you can get me to understand that I’m wrong, I’ll apologize and I’ll admit that you’re right. I don’t argue for fun or to be right. It’s that simple. Every once a while, I search “I’m sorry” in my chats with the people close to me, to be sure that I’m really operating by my principles.
I read Burl’s post on this topic yesterday and here’s part of what I told him…
I agree that saying sorry is an important part of keeping relationships alive and mending human connections. Me, I say sorry a lot, every time I’m wrong. The problem with me is just that when I don’t feel that I’m wrong, you won’t hear sorry from me no matter what. I just won’t say it. Not even to keep peace.
The mistake that a lot of people make is that even when they’re not wrong, they apologize to “keep the peace”. This is not wrong per se, but some people will just take advantage of you and never own up and take accountability for their mistakes since you’re always doing it for them. They develop a kind of a god-complex as a result, where they either can’t see they’re ever wrong, or that they should apologize for their wrongs.
I mentioned this also in my reply to Burl…
Some people will take advantage of you if you keep apologizing to keep the peace even when you’re not wrong. Your sorry needs to actually mean something. It needs to mean you’re wrong, and knowing how difficult it is to admit you’re wrong, you won’t keep doing whatever it is, if you don’t want to keep saying sorry.
Sure there are a few times when I’ll apologize not because I feel I’m wrong, but because I feel that I should. I guess you could call those cases “apologizing to keep the peace”. Sometimes, it’s important to read the room and understand to do what’s necessary, especially when emotions are involved, because when emotions are involved, logic goes straight out the window. Still, I try as much as I can to not make it a regular thing to apologize to keep peace, as I tend to put some distance between people who make me have to apologize even when I’m not wrong.
Another thing is that since I apologize when I’m wrong, I expect that people do the same. It’s simply logical. But some people just find the word sorry too heavy for their mouths.
I do this assessment of the people around me every once a while, and I tend to fall out with people who I observe just can’t seem to apologize for their mistakes. I’ve had such an encounter a few months ago where a very close friend and I are almost becoming strangers because of something like that. Am I happy about it? Of course not! Will I take responsibility and accountability for their actions? Hell nah! People need to be held accountable for their actions sometimes and that includes me, which is why I’m conscious of the things I say or do, and apologize and try to make things right when I’m wrong.
Sometimes even in chaos and our own discomfort, we need to people step up and own up to their shit. Taking responsibility is a bitch! Hasn’t been pleasant, and never will be. Which is the more reason why we don’t want to fuck up in the first place, so that we don’t have to take responsibility in the form of apology.
To be completely honest, I don’t really care much about the I’m sorry. I want people to understand what they’re sorry about. Do you really know what you’re apologizing for? Because if you don’t, you’ll do it again and we’ll be right back at square one.
Saying “I’m sorry” is very important especially if any sort of relationship is to survive the test of time. We shouldn’t find it difficult to say, but should only say it when we’re truly wrong, not because we want to “keep peace” or because we’ve been led to think it’s what we’re supposed to do. Like I already mentioned though, there are exceptions to every rule and principle that governs human life and relations, and this one isn’t an exception. There are times when we should exercise compromise. But compromising can not be a regular thing.
This is the part I don't really like, saying sorry when you are not at fault, the other party will not feel remorseful
Yhp. You’re basically handing them a lifetime valid do-not-apologize card, and they’ll gladly take it.
That's it. I can relate like alot
This post has been manually curated by @bhattg from Indiaunited community. Join us on our Discord Server.
Do you know that you can earn a passive income by delegating to @indiaunited. We share more than 100 % of the curation rewards with the delegators in the form of IUC tokens. HP delegators and IUC token holders also get upto 20% additional vote weight.
Here are some handy links for delegations: 100HP, 250HP, 500HP, 1000HP.
100% of the rewards from this comment goes to the curator for their manual curation efforts. Please encourage the curator @bhattg by upvoting this comment and support the community by voting the posts made by @indiaunited.
I think everyone knows what they're apologizing for. But sometimes there are some people who apologize just to look good in front of them. hopefully we are not like some of these people
Believe me, not everyone knows what they’re apologizing for when they do. They just apologize when they see you’re mad about something, but they don’t know what you’re mad about. If you don’t know what you’re sorry for, you probably shouldn't be apologizing cos there’s a good chance you’ll do it again. I like apologizing by saying “I’m sorry for/about …..” Lets people know you’re conscious of what you’re apologizing about, and also suggests you’re less likely to do it again. That’s just me though:)
You deserve an Oscar for this post🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Well pointed out and well read😃
The rewards earned on this comment will go directly to the people( @ibbtammy ) sharing the post on Twitter as long as they are registered with @poshtoken. Sign up at https://hiveposh.com.
-Hi! When I said "I am sorry" I mean it from the heart, without faking it, always full of sincerity, though sometimes I still committing the same mistake, because of my good intentions. And when I said I'm sorry I truly did something wrong and I am standing on it. And I will never sacrifice the life of others, especially the people who are important to me. So when I say I am sorry, I mean it and will never do the same mistake again!.. Thank you for sharing this topic!😇 Have a blessed night!🙏
Great to hear! Thanks for passing by:)
-Have a blessed day!,🙏
You are very right it is essential when it comes to family and our loved one relationship.
What is very important?
Congratulations @depressedfuckup! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next target is to reach 25000 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
Check out our last posts:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
It's true that some people will take advantage of the person that always say sorry but still it shouldn't stop the person from saying it because you don't know when the sorry will help you.
I disagree. If you can clearly tell that someone is taking advantage of your apologetic nature, I would advise you not only stop saying it, but you put some distance between yourself and them. That sounds like potential narcissistic behavior, and you don’t want that anywhere near you. But that’s just my opinion.