Keeping Phones Out of the Bedroom is Bad Advice
This is some advice I've seen given to couples a lot of times. The advice is given by professionals too, but common sense is really against it.
We can see that the advice means well from the start, though. Keep the phones out of the bedroom. The reasoning is clearly that when couples are with phones inside the bedroom they'll spend most of the time on the phones rather than connecting with each other. Like the phones are going to take all the attention they should have otherwise been spending on themselves.
That is very possible and can happen. But that is only half the story. We need to look at the full story.
Say the couple are on their phones rather than paying each other attention, that is bad. But some common things that happened when a couple is in the bedroom is that they talk a lot to the extent there isn't much to talk anymore. Or they carry out so much lovemaking and it is now time to lay about not doing much.
During times like these phones can be very great distractions to make the silence and slow periods less boring.
Phones Really Help Couples Bond
Secondly, the biggest thing this advice is missing is that phones really help couples bond.
A lot of great conversations and laughter between couples comes from them showing each other some funny or interesting thing they came across while scrolling. And if they were not scrolling how would they have come across all those things and the resultant laughters and great conversations.
Like one of them come across a very funny meme that got them, and they quickly show it to their partner, their partner laughs, and suddenly they're talking about the subject of the humour, like "oh I can relate to this, the other day it happened to me but in this different way" or "yeah, a friend of mine usually says this, that,". Things like that.
Or one of them can come across a debate and show it to the other and the next two hours is just them debating about that topic and having a great, deep, bonding, revealing conversation.
And it usually don't end there, a lot of times the references they make to each other during some other conversation or situation days or months later can be throwbacks to something they saw together on their phones.
For example, a partner can say one word, say "Tudors" and they both of them are cracking up hard. A stranger in their midst might be wondering what's so funny about that, but only the couple understand because that word is from something they both watched on their phone together and the word was used to make a good joke that they both now invoke with just one word.
So, that's it, bonding, references, injokes, interesting and spiced up conversations. All things that come from couples being allowed to scroll on their phone while together in the bedroom.
The End
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Thank you!
It's good to read both sides of the argument.
That's right. Have you done that?
Yes. I see a lot of random posts about behavior. Your article is refreshing as it is the only one I found that suggests the benefits of keeping the phone in the bedroom. This shows me that you are a unique thinker and worthy to follow even though I disagree with you sometimes. I personally find more benefit in bed if the phone is safely locked up. I just need to remember to turn off my wife's phone. In the middle of something it rings and she gets up and answers it. Half of the time it is her mom. That kind of ruins the mood.
Thank you very much ythe compliment. You clearly have good experience with these things, and yeah there are benefits to it but it shouldn't be over done, there should be space for the benefits that comes with having it in the bedroom too.
I don't want to comment too much on this as I am not married, but I feel that it's not bad advice either. It depends on the situation we face and the mindset of people.
Cool. Thank you!
This is another POV, I guess the post you were referred to spoke from a different POV i.e the part where both couples would be too comfortable with their phones and forgetting bedroom thing is for them.
Yeah, you're right, the people who say to keep phones out of the bedroom only say that because of the bad effects you mentioned. I think they don't know about the good effects at all.